Another one for my list of things I would buy if I was insanely rich. Up for sale on ebay is a robot arm, the kind that you see in car factories that has been fitted with a seat to it can throw you around like a mofo. Just like this in fact: http://robotswilltakeover.blogspot.com/2007/01/for-its-next-trick-it-throws-you.html
Have a gander:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=160087251047
Monday, 26 February 2007
Friday, 23 February 2007
Robots Will Rule The World
Robots Will Rule World - apocalyptic prediction or the name of a new blog? Excitingly, it's both! Yay! I encourage you to have a look. Go on, don't be scared. Really, it won't hurt. But wait...please come back won't you? Someday soon. Please. I'll miss you while you're gone. Don't let the robots hurt me.
http://www.RobotsWillRuleTheWorld.com
http://www.RobotsWillRuleTheWorld.com
Sunday, 18 February 2007
Fear & Cower!
"Speaking at the American Association for the Advancement of Science in San Francisco yesterday, a panel of robotics experts said robots capable of multiple domestic tasks, that can also provide companionship for their owners, will be available within 10 years. And the scientists claim it is already possible to give robots feelings
If a robot feels happy after it has cleaned a dirty carpet particularly well, then it will apparently seek out more dirt to do the same. Similarly, if the robot feels guilt or sadness at having failed at a task, it will try harder next time.
For example, when shown a toy, the robot will become happy and smile, while when surprised it will show fear and cower."
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/02/18/nrobot18.xml
Well that could be a bit of a minefield. Last thing you want is a paranoid android on your hands. Will such robots be capable of lust or love? Jealousy? Depression? Catholic robots would suffer from lots of guilt, Jewish ones from neurosis.
If a robot feels happy after it has cleaned a dirty carpet particularly well, then it will apparently seek out more dirt to do the same. Similarly, if the robot feels guilt or sadness at having failed at a task, it will try harder next time.
For example, when shown a toy, the robot will become happy and smile, while when surprised it will show fear and cower."
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/02/18/nrobot18.xml
Well that could be a bit of a minefield. Last thing you want is a paranoid android on your hands. Will such robots be capable of lust or love? Jealousy? Depression? Catholic robots would suffer from lots of guilt, Jewish ones from neurosis.
Saturday, 17 February 2007
Thursday, 15 February 2007
He Is A Slave In The Kitchen
"With the preparation of Chinese food in mind," the robot cook rules the kitchen of the future, promises a patent application awarded yesterday to a Mr. Dawei Dong."Who Wants To Be Inside Me?"
Anyone who relishes being slave to the machine can apply to be just that, operating a robot called Titan from the inside. The 8ft (2.4m) robot has appeared in shows around the world. Nik Fielding, 40, the robot’s owner, of Newquay, said that applicants needed to be at least 6ft and weigh no more than 13 stone (83kg). He added: “Applicants don’t have to be able to say anything. But in an ideal world they’d need to be good at playing Xbox because that’s what it’s like in there.”
Wednesday, 14 February 2007
Songs For Robot Lovers
As it's Valentines' Day below is a link for some songs for robot lovers. Enjoy!
Tuesday, 13 February 2007
A Sage-Grouse Ran Off With My Wife
"Researcher creates robot bird to study grouse mating rituals"
http://www.davisenterprise.com/articles/2007/02/11/news/324new0.txt
Look, if you want to watch grouse go at it, just admit it, don't drag some robot bird into it. Watching birds enjoying lovin' is perfectly natural. Actually, its not. Bur still, leave the robots out of it.
(Semi-) Seriously though, some researcher is using a robotic bird to study mating techniques of the sage grouse and some of the information is stuff that I think we can all learn from:
"The male...uses sticks and twigs to build a small hut-like structure, called a bower, and decorates it with shiny and colorful — often blue — objects such as flowers, buttons or even pen caps to attract females."
I have also used pen caps to attract females. One night I went out with 36 blue pen caps glued to my face. I gotta tell you, I turned a lot of heads but mostly for the wrong reasons. I was eventually sectioned under the Mental Health Act and spent 4 months incarcerated in a room padded for my own protection. So, lesson 1 - what works for one species does not neccesarily work for another
"When a female sits in the bower, the male puts on a dramatic display, ruffling and puffing his feathers, stretching his wings and strutting around, adjusting his antics based on the female’s body language "
Again, we see this in the human world of sexual relations. Men will often show off to attract a girl. Like that time I ate 13 Mars bars one after each other. For some reason, this failed to impress. Lesson 2 - put on a dramtic display but do not over do it.
"Females tend to crouch down when interested in the male"
Never has a girl crouched down in front of, or near to, me. This is probably due to the two incidents detailed above. Lesson 3 - crouching female, good, crouching tiger, bad (especially if there is also a hidden dragon)
"If the male comes on too strong at the wrong time, he could scare her away."
Tell me about it. Lesson 4 - stalking is not proof of your romantic dedication. It is stalking.
"While 90 percent of birds are monogamous, the sage-grouse falls into the 10 percent with a polar opposite strategy. They try to mate with as many females as possible."
How gutted would you be if you were in the 90% of monogamous birds? "Aw, c'mon honey, the sage-grouse next door is always bringing home a different bird each night, why can't I play around a little". So, lesson 5 - if caught cheating, claim you are a sage-grouse. Good luck.
http://www.davisenterprise.com/articles/2007/02/11/news/324new0.txt
Look, if you want to watch grouse go at it, just admit it, don't drag some robot bird into it. Watching birds enjoying lovin' is perfectly natural. Actually, its not. Bur still, leave the robots out of it.
(Semi-) Seriously though, some researcher is using a robotic bird to study mating techniques of the sage grouse and some of the information is stuff that I think we can all learn from:
"The male...uses sticks and twigs to build a small hut-like structure, called a bower, and decorates it with shiny and colorful — often blue — objects such as flowers, buttons or even pen caps to attract females."
I have also used pen caps to attract females. One night I went out with 36 blue pen caps glued to my face. I gotta tell you, I turned a lot of heads but mostly for the wrong reasons. I was eventually sectioned under the Mental Health Act and spent 4 months incarcerated in a room padded for my own protection. So, lesson 1 - what works for one species does not neccesarily work for another
"When a female sits in the bower, the male puts on a dramatic display, ruffling and puffing his feathers, stretching his wings and strutting around, adjusting his antics based on the female’s body language "
Again, we see this in the human world of sexual relations. Men will often show off to attract a girl. Like that time I ate 13 Mars bars one after each other. For some reason, this failed to impress. Lesson 2 - put on a dramtic display but do not over do it.
"Females tend to crouch down when interested in the male"
Never has a girl crouched down in front of, or near to, me. This is probably due to the two incidents detailed above. Lesson 3 - crouching female, good, crouching tiger, bad (especially if there is also a hidden dragon)
"If the male comes on too strong at the wrong time, he could scare her away."
Tell me about it. Lesson 4 - stalking is not proof of your romantic dedication. It is stalking.
"While 90 percent of birds are monogamous, the sage-grouse falls into the 10 percent with a polar opposite strategy. They try to mate with as many females as possible."
How gutted would you be if you were in the 90% of monogamous birds? "Aw, c'mon honey, the sage-grouse next door is always bringing home a different bird each night, why can't I play around a little". So, lesson 5 - if caught cheating, claim you are a sage-grouse. Good luck.
Play It Again Sam...No, Actually, Don't
News of a jazz playng robot from Engadget
http://www.engadget.com/2007/02/13/saxy-jazz-playing-robot/
I don't know much about jazz, but I thought that one of its main attractions is that it has a free-flowing structure, that jazz players will riff and throw things in and just generally experiment? That it was the kind of music robots would be least suited to?
But anyhoo, the real test is, can they create anything on a par with John Coltrane? Ok, so neither could I. But I would enjoy groupies and drugs which would be wasted on robots, no matter how well they can play.
http://www.engadget.com/2007/02/13/saxy-jazz-playing-robot/
I don't know much about jazz, but I thought that one of its main attractions is that it has a free-flowing structure, that jazz players will riff and throw things in and just generally experiment? That it was the kind of music robots would be least suited to?
But anyhoo, the real test is, can they create anything on a par with John Coltrane? Ok, so neither could I. But I would enjoy groupies and drugs which would be wasted on robots, no matter how well they can play.
Android to Get Plastic Surgery
"Korean female android...undergoes a plastic surgery for more attractive looks"
The android's inventor, Baeg Moon-hong, wants to make her prettier and give her smaller hands. Right, Baeg, we all know what people say about girls with smaller hands...makes it look bigger...oh, sure, you're not doing it for that reason...
The android is also having more motors put in her face to enable her to portray a greater range of emotions "such as boredom [as well as] joy, anger, sorrow and happiness"
Boredom? You know you are dull when even an android is bored by you. I wonder what would provoke anger and sorrow? Perhaps photos of CP30's rusting corpse?
The article doesn't really explain the purpose of the android. It says it can sing and is able to sit and stand but is unable to move. It does manage to insult Korean's females though: "It was designed to look like Korean females in their early 20s." Hopefully most Korean girls don't dress like slutty whores aboard a 19th Century pirate ship.
Monday, 12 February 2007
Friday, 9 February 2007
Sunday, 4 February 2007
Merlot is the Colour of Human Blood
Apparently, robots can now be used for wine tasting
http://buckleupnow.com/2006/08/02/new-tech-news-wine-bot-can-bot-replace-wine-tasters/
"Excuee me Mr Robot sir, I think you've had enough" - "I've had enough of your shit man. You humans think you're all so great well us robots are gona kick your arses some day soon, I'm telling you, you're gona get it, its gona make Westworld seem like a chick flick...now get me more booze...I want to finest wines available to humanity and I want them now!"
http://buckleupnow.com/2006/08/02/new-tech-news-wine-bot-can-bot-replace-wine-tasters/
"Excuee me Mr Robot sir, I think you've had enough" - "I've had enough of your shit man. You humans think you're all so great well us robots are gona kick your arses some day soon, I'm telling you, you're gona get it, its gona make Westworld seem like a chick flick...now get me more booze...I want to finest wines available to humanity and I want them now!"
"The Most Anthropomorphic Android Available"
"Stop making a fool out of me/Why won't you come on over Valerie?"
The Zutons, Valerie
http://www.androidworld.com/prod19.htm
Check out Val's rather 80's hair & clothing! And the rather scary photos of her face! Like most models, Valerie "cannot eat". Apparently you can see her fingers in action, thought quite what her fingers are doing I haven't been brave enoguh to find out yet.
Thanks to James Lewis for the link
The Zutons, Valerie
http://www.androidworld.com/prod19.htm
Check out Val's rather 80's hair & clothing! And the rather scary photos of her face! Like most models, Valerie "cannot eat". Apparently you can see her fingers in action, thought quite what her fingers are doing I haven't been brave enoguh to find out yet.
Thanks to James Lewis for the link
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