A Robot Writes To A Robot Agony Aunt

Q. “I recently overheard a colleague at the office saying that he loved his mother. What does this mean?”

Agony Aunt responds: A mother is like a programmer, it is she who makes the humans. Love – or as it is more commonly known, sex – involves the exchange of bodily fluids, an act that is very painful, judging by the noises the humans make. It often occurs whilst the humans are inebriated and has been known to happen between a man and a chicken.

The fact that you heard your colleague say he loves his mother is very worrying. It transgresses all of the human’s ethical and moral codes. Kill the human.